Desires vs. Dreams

Right now in my life, I'm fighting a battle. I'm fighting myself over what the rest of my life will be like, what I'll do and who'll I'll be. I am considering whether I should pursue my desires or my dreams.

So what is the difference between desires and dreams? I guess the only real difference is that a desire usually tends to be something you would like to happen in the short-term, while a dream is something you would like to happen in the long-term. For instance, you may desire say a candy bar, but you may dream of becoming a pilot. Basically I consider desires to be more of a sensual nature while dreams seem to be more practical. But that doesn't necessarily mean that either is likely, I mean we all have dreamed of growing up and becoming astronauts or firefighters.

But does that mean that either one would make the outcome of your life any better than the other? I guess I'm getting in a real "The Road Not Taken" mode here, but seriously, if the desires are what make you happy then shouldn't you follow them? On the other hand, you wouldn't dream about something if you didn't want that to happen as well.

The real problem is that they are both things that we want to happen, but they are rarely things that can both happen. For instance you can't be a space firefighter because there is no oxygen in space to fuel fires, therefore no need for firefighters. As far as the desires vs. dreams thing goes, eating a candy bar won't keep you from being President, but going to far with somebody or getting involved with some people potentially could ruin your dreams. Its the whole have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too scenario where you want something now, but you also want something later.

This is where I am, on so many levels. Women, for instance; men want to be with women (desire) but we also want to have meaningful relationships (dream). So my options basically are meaningless relationship with well, a whore, or meaningful relationship with a friend. The chances of a middle ground here are quite literally astronomical. Likewise, I may want to become a rockstar or a senator, but I can't expect to live the life of a rockstar and be viewed as a respectable member of society that can be trusted with the laws that govern us.

Ok, so we understand the differences and the problem. So what can be done about it? We are going to do what makes us happy just because otherwise there is no reason to live. But are we going to have our cake, or eat it? In writing this I'm reminded of the story of Icarus. He couldn't practice the moderation needed to fly a safe route, consequently he flew too high towards the sun, fell into the sea, and died. Here, in the battle, I feel that moderation is also the key. Enough desires to keep us happy now, but not enough to destroy our dreams. Hopefully I can find the balance, but for now I’m stuck at the battlelines.

On the Mac

For as long as I can remember I have always added something to my mac and cheese: ketchup. I dont know where, when, or why I started this habit but that is exactily what it has become. I will hardly ever eat it with out ketchup on top. I will also avoid home-made mac for the single reason that the cheese on it usually doesn't mix very well with the ketchup. I realise that this is rather odd, and that some people may find it even gross, but I like it that way and thats the way I eat it.

as a have-not

Being poor means that I never have had many of the luxuries others have, or just not as soon as others have had them. That I have learned to live with, but with being poor comes a paradox, I am a have-not and as such can not help but despise and envy the haves, at the same time I want to become a have. This makes it difficult because I would like the equality of communism but then I wouldn't have the chance to succeed as I do in capitalism. Ultimately I believe that as long as everyone has an equal chance then capitalism is the best option. I just really can't see communism working. So this is the oxymoron that I am, I'm a have-not but I'm a capitalist.

Something's in the air.

There is something in the air. I'm not sure what it is or how it got there, but it certainly is there, and it is having an effect. You see at the beginning of this year's cross country season I had doubts about our team. Nobody seemed to be working toward a common goal, everybody seemed more occupied with getting out of doing hard work, but something has changed. I'm not sure how or why this change has occured but I have never seen the team this close or in this great of physical condition. I'm so very excited because of this and can't wait for the season to start. We will be doing great things this season and even if we don't accomplish as much as we hope, we will have the time of our lives doing them. I don't know what this invisible agent in our air supply is, but I hope that it sticks around til November.

related relatives

The relatives I am probably closest to are my sister, my oldest brother, and my grandfather. My sister and I are quite alike in the way we approach school. We take/took (seeing as she is graduated from college) very seriously. We push to get the best grades we can and are very goal oriented. My brother and I are very alike in temperment. We don't really like being told what to do. My brother is very open minded and doesn't just take things for face-value. My sister doesn't either but she still isn't as open as my brother. I would say I'm more like my brother in this. My mom tells me that I'm alot like her dad. She says that we are both very philosophical thinkers and that we both are/were frugal.

There are really many ways that I'm like some people in my family, and also many ways that I'm very different from my family. But the ones I am most like would be my sister, my oldest brother, and my grandfather.