Finals

To be honest my finals started a couple of weeks ago. My grades slipped and I was in a rush to recover them before finals came around and it was too late. So I worked hard and blew off some things that I really wanted to do, and still did some things I really wanted to do. It's all come down to this week. Going into finals I had one study hall and four A's. So I took what excemptions I could and decided to do what I could towards turning my other grades into A's. My first final was english and I did well on the final and ended up with an 89.45% for the semester, 0.05% off of an A. I figured it was better to write some extra blogs and get bonus points and more KEES money. I did the math for one of my other classes, IB Computer Science, and discovered that I would have to make a 122% on the final to make an A, an impossibility. So I will lose my 4.0 but if I can get a 98% on my algebra II final then IB Comp Sci will be my only B. We'll see how it turns out, but no matter what I'll deserve the grade I get and I won't complain.

Lie Detector

So my parents got this gift for Christmas, a lie detector that shocks you if you lie. I was, of course, skeptical and really curious to find out exactly how it can tell if you are supposedly lieing or not. This is a simple machine so I really doubt that it can check heart rate or moisture of your skin and certainly not pupil dilation. The only thing I could figure was that maybe it senses the pressure of your hand pushing down on it. Theoretically if you know something will shock you when you lie you will try to avoid being shocked and so if you lie you will try to pull away from the thing that will shock you. So if you lie you should release pressure on the device. If it senses that then it might think you are lieing and shock you. That's my theory. So I tested it out. I managed to shock my brother and my dad by having them release and apply pressure a certain way. I can't think of any other factors so I believe that that is how it works.

Same Sex Marriage?

OK so my solution is pretty radical, but I think that it could work.

Before I get on the subject of where I stand on the subject I'll mention two points that I believe to be true.
1. Marriage is an institution of the church
2. When any citizen is being considered for any government stipulation age, race, and gender should not be considered.

So here is where I stand based on these two points:
Since marriage is an institution of the church, and their is a separation between the church and state, the government should not issue marriage licences. The government involves itself in a matter of the church and this goes against much of the views and policies that our nation was founded on and has been ruled by. But there is a problem here, states can't just stop issuing marriage licences. There are many factors that depend on the state recognizing a union. So I propose that all state recognized unions be "civil unions" rather than "marriages." In truth I am simply saying that we should change the name.
Don't think it would work? Well consider this, the government should not consider age, race, and/or gender when a citizen is applying for something. Therefore if two citizens apply for a marriage licence, the government should not take into account age(assuming both citizens are adults), race, or gender. So while if a heterosexual couple comes in to get a marriage licence the government should say, "citizen 1 wants to marry citizen 2, OK." Likewise if a homosexual couple comes in the government should again say, "citizen 1wants to marry citizen 2, OK." I don't believe that anyone really has a problem with this. The problem is that many people feel that homosexuals getting MARRIAGE licences destroys the institution of marriage; I agree.
But whats the problem with having state recognized unions between two citizens? I don't see one, as long as it's not connected to the church. So if marriage is removed from the government it can still be between a man and a woman while any two citizens can be protected from discrimination.

I bet you are thinking that this is a menial change that won't do any good. Well maybe, but the thing is that I believe that the government shouldn't be involved in this sort of a problem. Is homosexuality immoral, or just socially unaccepted? That shouldn't be the government's decision, it should be society's. Society doesn't have to play by the rules government does.

Proposition:
Remove marriage from government; never take age (if an adult), race, or gender into account when government is concerned; and let society make the decision on homosexuality.

By the way I am anti-homosexuality but pro-separation of church and state and anti-discrimination, but I see this as the only solution.

Favorite Christmas Decoration

I think that my favorite Christmas decoration just might be Christmas lights. My family doesn't really decorate much, just because of money and because we usually don't have it at my house, but I still enjoy seeing other people's Christmas lights. I like to drive around neighborhoods and look at the lights. Seeing all the different ways everybody puts them up and the colors and everything is just really neat. I also enjoy the lights shows at the parks. Those shows always are very well done and just very Christmassy if you will. I saw this one lady putting up some light on a tree on day. The lights she was using were red and it made the tree look like a holly tree with the little red berries. I thought that that looked really nice on that tree. The best lights are in the welthier neighborhoods, which makes sense cause they have the money to do so. Even though I like those I still like more simple decorations as well. There is this one house on Lewis Lane that usually spelled out the words "Merry Christmas" on a chain-link fence using Christmas lights. I always thought that that was very neat and I am rather sad that they haven't done it this year. I also think that it's neat that back in the old days before electricity they used to put candles on trees. I always thought that that was both funny and awesome. Anyway I really like Christmas lights.

Broke before Christmas

I hate being broke before Christmas. I currently have about $7 and I have not gotten presents for any of my siblings or even my girlfriend. The only thing I have gotten has been a movie for my parents, and that was only $11. I really can not stand not getting people stuff. I feel like a jerk when someone gives me something and I don't have anything to give back to them. But of course this year I won't be able to give much of anything. So I think what I'll do instead is make something. I'm not going to make something stupid like macaroni art or anything like that, I think that instead I will record myself playing some music and make cd's for everybody. I know that my sibling will enjoy this and it's not like I could buy them anything better. I mean I would be able to spend like $2 on each person if I bought them something. Yeah thats not going to happen. I guess the only other thing that could happen is that maybe I could get some Christmas money early. I doubt this is going to happen in enough time to get people things and besides that I doubt I will be getting much as far as Christmas money. Oh well, the cd it is.

Christmas Eve tradition

My family isn't really big on traditions. We go to so many different places to celebrate Christmas that it is pretty difficult to have any real traditions and follow them. Some years we go down to Texas and celebrate with my mom's sister. Other times we go out to the family farm. While other times are spent either at my dad's sister's house or at my house. The only Christmas tradition we follow is that we read Luke chapter 2 before we open presents.

While we may spend Christmas at a variety of different locations we always follow a certain Christmas Eve tradition. My mom has family in Oregon, and in Oregon there used to be a place that made cheese, so every Christmas her family would send us cheese. So for Christmas Eve we would have a meal of cheese, crackers, apples and chicken. I can not remember a Christmas Eve that we did not have this meal. The place that made the cheese has closed and so now we go to Wal-Mart and buy cheese there.

This year we will continue the tradition with my brother, his wife, my sister, and her husband. I am looking forward to continuing the tradition and to seeing my siblings and their spouses.

November No More

It's November No More! November is outa here!
Let's see what happened in November...Cross Country finished up with the post season in the month of November. It was quite dissapointing but oh well, it was still fun and i guess that that is all that matters.
what else? Oh yeah, Pennyrile Meets are done, yeah I had a dissapointing first year of varsity of Varsity Social Studies. I got as low as 6th place in three test scoreing which is the absolute worst i have placed in the competition.
On a positive note, I played a 12-string for the first time in my life. That was alot of fun. It was at Thanksgiving and it was really fun.

Lets see December is coming up and I'll have Christmas and Finals and I'll get to see my brother as he will be back from Iraq. Good times.

Is anybody there?

I'm fairly convinced that noone is reading my blogs. I think I may be just rambling to an imaginary crowd that is about as existant as Santa Claus. That's right kids, Santa Clause is fake. I'm pretty sure that I could misspell every single word and no one would be there to correct me. I might even just talk about really contreversial issues that would normally anger everyone that read them and it wont matter because no ones is listening. I could tell how that people are funny looking and it's not like anybody would care because noone would know. Anyway, this blog about nobody reading my blogs is pretty pointless because nobody is reading this blog.

Analysis of Story time

In the blog post Story time the author makes a provoking argument about how modern western culture has caused such a deterioration in society that it is impossible for children to sleep at night with out some form of artificial light ficture. The manure is representative of the filth of political corruption. The Knight, usually a shiny, honorable figure is portrayed as a villan with a hot daughter and a really nice car. The anachronism of the car shows how western culture takes something traditional and preverts it into something more popular which is just horrible because it makes pregnant women fell fat. Billy, the boy with a goattee, was symbolic of nothing. the drawbridge showed how that the decline in religious fervour as well as the invasion of barbarians was responsible for the fall of the Roman Empire. The part with the flying car, three different camera angles, and shower of sparks was just awesome and pretty bad. When they boy got out of the car with those sun glasses on I honestly peed myself. The author chooses to finish the story by revealing the names of the boy and girl, he makes it a reference to Steve Miller's Take the Money and Run which also mentions a castle.

I would like to say one more thing. and that is that satire is really fun.

Story time

Once upon a time, there was a boy, and this boy liked this girl, but the girl was the daughter of the Knight and the boy was a lowly serf who cleaned the stalls of the Knight. "Yeah what girl is going to want a manure shoveling twerp like you?" said Billy, the boy with a goatee. "She'd love me if she knew me, but I'll never meet her in her." said the boy. It was at this point that the Knight pulled into the stall in his cherry red Lamborgini Diablo. "If you get that crap on this I'll have you drawn and quartered" said the Knight in so thick a Scottish brogue that it truelly sounded like this, "Ih ugit thah craap un tis ah'll ave ew drahn un qortehd." The Knight stared deeply into the boy's eyes and then leapt in the air and flew out of the room. The boy continued to shovel manure. Then he heard a sound. The girl came in and walked over to the Lamborgini. "I wouldn't touch that if I was you" said the boy. "Oh, I'll do alot more than just touch it!" replied the girl. She got in the car but then got right back out. "What's wrong?" asked the boy. "I can't drive stick!" exclaimed the girl. "I can." replied the boy. So she gave him the keys and they speed out of the stable. The Knight saw this and ordered the drawbridge to be brought up, but this time in a Jamacain accent. "It's closing!" said the girl. So the boy floored it and ramped the bridge. The camera cut to three different views of the car flying through the air in slo-mo then landing on the ground with a shower of sparks. The boy stopped the car and got out, but now in a leather jacket and blue jeans with some really cool shades on. The Knight said that mimed that if he ever saw him again he would hang him by his nose. The boy jumped back in the car and sped into the sunset. Oh yeah his name was Billy Joe and her name was Bobbie Sue.

Christmas Shopping

As great as Christmas is, and as great as getting people gifts for Christmas is, shopping for Christmas gifts is a tedeous, difficult task. First off, you, or at least I, have a limit to how much money I can spend. I don't have a job so it's kind of hard to have alot to spend on people. I usually end up spending most, if not all of my money on gifts. So after I figure out how much I have to spend, I figure out who all I'm buying for. After I do that, I can figure how much I can spend on each person. Then the hardest part: deciding what to get everybody. I usually look all around, in my price range, trying to find something good for each person. I usually end up just getting people movies or puzzles, something like that. And then I'm broke. But it's all good cause then I get gifts and some of those gifts are money. Which is pretty sweet.

Adios October

Well, well, there goes October 2009. Its been a crazy month. I finished my Cross Country season with a stress fracture, had a third Pennyrile Meet for Academic Team, and had a decent fall break. Quite abit has happened. School has been insane! I've been just barely getting by with all my work load and co-curricular activities. But its all past now. Now its all hands on deck for November. Not shaving, Thanksgiving, and the last of the Pennyrile Meets all await. Yep, November is going to be yet another month of good times, disappointments, stressful deadline filled days, and holidays. But I don't mind, it's nothing new. BRING IT ON NOVEMBER!!!

What will what I am doing right now matter in a year?

I wonder what things I'm worried about right now will matter in exactly one year. My homework, rides to and from places, or whether or not to participate in No Shave November will any of these desicions matter in a years time? I highly doubt it. I mean what I eat won't matter a week after I eat it, so how can say my homework a year later? I have a heavy suspicion that in a year I'll be worried about the same kind of things, but those things from this year won't matter. So does it matter if I do them or not? Maybe, maybe not. In a year, I doubt anyone will care about most of my little desicions right now. That doesn't mean I won't make the decisions, but it does mean that I won't stress to much over them.

What will I be doing in a year?

What will I be doing in a year? Maybe homework as I am right now. Maybe I'll be out with friends instead of being alone. Maybe I'll be thinking about college instead of the next week of school. Maybe I'll be writing a song instead of a blog. Whatever it may be I hope it is something useful. I hope I gain from it and can maybe become a better person from it. Chances are though that it will be something pointless and it will have little effect on the whole of my life. But who knows? Only time will tell. I'll find out soon enough.

Missing my Brother

My oldest brother Daniel, who is seven years my senior, is currently deployed in Iraq. He is almost finished with his tour and has less than a month left in Iraq. I got to see him for a weekend over the summer when he had his leave and got married. Anyway, I've really been missing him lately. He'll be home for Christmas and I really can't wait. But what I really want to do is go camping with him in the Daniel Boone National Forest in eastern Kentucky. Me and my brothers love to camp, and it is my personal opinion that the more natural the more enjoyable the camping experience is. So I prefer a tent and campfire over camper and stove. I'm not quite as extreme as just walking into the woods with a knife and surviving but I do prefer to try and use the land instead of just being on it. I really can't wait to go camping with my brother, because he always shows me how to do something and teaches me a new survival skill. It's also just great to sit around the campfire and talk with my brothers. Anyway I can't wait until he gets home and we get a chance to go camping.

Pumpkin Jam

In the Fall, whenever somebody gives us some pumpkins, my mom makes pumpkin jam. She will bake the pumpkin, then make pies, bread, jam or whatever else she can think of. My favorite of any of these is her pumkin jam.

She hasn't made it every year, but it is a Fall-time memory that I can recall from years past. Whenever my mom makes some, we always give a jar to anybody that will take one. I still haven't heard of anyone trying it and not liking it. I am pretty much always up for a glob of it on toast or a biscut. I even had some this morning. It is really delicious and I love it.

I will always enjoy it and remember my mom making it during the Fall.

Should Marijuana be Legalized?

Marijuana, mary jane, sweet leaf, grass, weed, hemp, or its proper name Cannabis; whatever you want to call it, it has had a colorful past. Cannabis has been used in many practical uses for hundreds of years. Clothes, rope, and paper have all been made out of the cannabis plant. In fact an acre of cannabis can make 4 times as much paper as an acre of trees. George Washington grew and encouraged the growth of cannabis so that Americans could be less dependent on foreign countries' goods. Cannabis was instrumental in producing war supplies in World War II. We must not forget the medicinal uses of cannabis as well. We see the good of cannabis, and it is very good, so the question is why is it illegal?

Cannabis is illegal because of its psychoactive drug THC present in the plant which produces a high. THC is believed to be harmful to users and promote further drug use. Studies have shown this to be untrue. The picture included shows that cannabis is both less harmful and less addictive (dependence) than both alcohol and tobacco. So again, why is it illegal?

The answer is because in the early 20th century the timber industry was able to influence the government to make cannabis illegal. The illegalization of cannabis was of purely economic motives. In light of this, the many practical uses of cannabis, and it being less harmful than alcohol and tobacco, it is my personal belief that cannabis should be legalized as it was before the 1930's and during WWII.

My Right Foot

My right foot and I have had a pretty good relationship. He takes me places I need to go and I make sure it stays out of places it doesn't need to go. My foot has been very useful. As a runner it is about the most used part of my body. Which is the reason why my right foot is breaking my heart.

You see, towards the end of the last Cross Country season, my foot started hurting. My coach and a fellow runner had suspicions that it was a stress fracture. I finished my season and took time off of it. I then ran on it through out track, at first it gave me problems and I would ice and rest it until finally it seemed to go away. So I continued to run on it. Well I finished track and took alittle bit of time off but stayed active as Cross Country requires far more endurance. So I basically got no rest between track and Cross Country for my foot to heal.

Now my foot is worse than it ever has been. I'm running faster and harder on it than ever before and it is taking its toll on my foot. At the City/County meet I ran and afterwards was writhing in pain as I suspect I re-fractured my stress fracture. I have two races left so I really want to finish the season as I have yet to break 20 minutes in a 5K. The problem is that I might break my foot in the process.

Most people do not understand my delima, they believe the decision is an easy one, stop running. But it isn't that simple. For me, running is fun. I get to run. Racing in a Cross Country meet is one of my favorite things to do. So for me to miss out on all the good times on the team and possibly miss meets is a big deal to me. My foot is causing me to miss one of the things I love the most. This is why its breaking my heart.

So long September

And the jailer man
and sailor sam
were searching everyone
for rock n' roll on the run
rock n' roll on the run

Ladies and Gentlemen, Nick Miller.
Thank you Nick for that wonderful performance.
A nd now for something completely different...

Well, there goes September '09. It's cooler now that its Fall, Cross Country is in full swing, we just had our second Pennyrile Meet in Academic Team, and we just finished our second month of school. Quite abit has happened this month, and its been about like swimming in an ocean trying to keep up with everything, all work and no place to stop and rest awhile. Soon we'll have fall break and I'll be able to take a rest from junior year, but there is still some swimming in store for me before I reach that log. I'll take any rest I can get, though I'll prolly be working through out fall break catching up in my Latin 3 which I have been neglecting. Besides that I'll prolly run, play guitar, and sleep. I'll basically do everything that I've been wanting to do instead of homework. Before that I'll have to continue plugging along, against the current, and try to stay more focused on school than girls and guitars. But then again, I am a 16 year old boy ... yeah, screw school!

Sit awhile and Think

Sometimes its really great to just find some place where you can be alone and think about things. I do this sometimes. I'll get alot on my mind, and I'll find someplace pleasant and think. I like to be outside when I think; go for a walk or sit down on a park bench or something. When I find someplace to think I'll try to relax and well think. I'll try to reason out the best ways to go about a problem or about what my views or the stand I'll take on a subject. I think this is a really good way to reason through things.

Sometimes I don't want to be alone though. Maybe my problem is that I'm feeling too lonely at the time and I want to talk to someone. Thats usually the time I'll talk to a close friend about something. This is usually good to unload and to get another's opinion on a situation.

Personally, I try to be self-made and fix problems on my own, so I'll usually start out thinking to myself and then if I want someone elses input I'll go to a friend. I really value my time to think very highly.

Substitute Teachers

I can't stand substitute teachers. They never know what they are doing and they always have such an attitude. They think that just because they are employed by a school system that they have authority over us. While this may be technically true the problem is that they do not have respect. I can't respect someone who doesn't have a clue what they are doing. I also can't respect someone that has attitude. So basically I can't respect subs.

Now I will admit that there are some cool subs out there. But they are the ones that let you do whatever you want. While these people are cool I still do not respect them.

So what could be done to fix this problem? Well basically nothing, that is unless teachers evolve a super immune system or more likely we just dont have class with out teachers. I like the last part. Get someone to come in and pop in a movie. It always works.

Fighting with Dignity

It is certainly easier to surrender shamefully than to fight with dignity, but when you do you always lose. When you fight with dignity you at least have a chance at succeeding.

I think of Cross Country, as usual, when I think of this situation. In a Cross Country race you are fighting two forces: yourself and others. First you must beat yourself, aka the little guy in you saying SLOW DOWN. Once you have conquered him then you can focus on others. To win against them you must break them before they break you. This usually means picking up the pace to something neither of you want to run and pushing and pushing until one of you gives up and slows down.

This is what I think of when I think of fighting with dignity. When you are pushing that other runner and yourself you have two options, you can give up and surrender in the which case you will be failing yourself and your teammates or you can fight with dignity and break the other runner. In races where I have surrendered I am overwhelmed with shame. I feel like a complete failure and I literally hang my head in shame the rest of the day. I can barely look my teammates or coach in the face because I failed them all. When I fight with dignity, however, I am proud of what I have accomplished. That is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

While it is easier to surrender, it is always better to fight and to have your dignity whether you win or not.

Through the Grape Vine

I find it odd that so many people love grapes but absolutley dispise raisins. I, personally, am a big fan of both.

I love grapes and how juicy they are and all. I love how one grape can be very sweet and the next almost sour. I must note that red grapes are much better than green grapes and that I would always choose red grapes over green ones as long as there are red ones to be eaten.

I too love raisins. They are chewy and sweet and just over all very delicous. I really have nothing negative to say about raisins. I love 'em.

Related to this entry would be grape juice and artificial grape flavors. Grape juice is awesome. Artificial grape flavors ... not so much.

Also, I read a statistic that said that the "Grape Vine" is 80% correct. So while some details may be messed up, about 80% of the original message should be true.

And lastly, CCR's Heard It Through the Grape Vine is an amazingly awesome song. just sayin

Laughing

I love laughing. I especially love it when you're in a big group and everybody is laughing. Nothing can make you feel closer to a group then to be laughing with them.
Even if you aren't physically with somebody, you can still share a great laugh with them. One friend in particular (cough-marley) and I never fail to have conversations over aim where literally half of the conversation is "lol" or "haha". These conversations are never dull though, sometimes we might actually laugh about laughing so much.
Sometimes at Cross Country practice its like we can't stop laughing. Those are always the best practices. When we are all laughing, we seem to be closer than ever before and anything seems possible.
I also love when you get really tired, like around 3 o'clock, and you just start laughing at everything. That's always really funny, which just makes you laugh more.
Anyway, I really do like to laugh.

WHY ARE YOU YELLING?

IS IT POSSIBLE TO READ ALL CAPS WITHOUT YELLING IN YOUR HEAD? I THINK IT'S POSSIBLE BUT ITS PRETTY HARD TO DO. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE REALLY INTO A CONVERSATION. SOMETIMES WHEN I'M TALKING TO FRIENDS, ONE IN PARTICULAR, ON AIM THEY'LL LEAVE CAPS LOCK ON AND TYPE SOMETHING IN ALL CAPS. I NEVER FAIL TO READ IT IN MY HEAD LIKE IT IS BEING YELLED. I JUST ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT WAS FUNNY. IT'S ALSO KINDA NEAT WHEN YOU ARE READING A BOOK AND YOU READ SOMETHING A WOMAN SAYS IN A HIGHER PITCH THAN WHAT A GUY SAYS, STILL IN YOUR HEAD. OR WHEN YOU ARE TALKING TO A FRIEND AND YOU THINK OF HOW THAT PERSON TALKS AND READ THE WORDS WITH THEIR VOICE. I DON'T KNOW MAYBE I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO DOES THIS.

On President Obama's Speech

Today, in AP US History(APUSH), we watched President Obama's speech to students about how important our education is and how that we need to work hard in school. Personally I believe this speech was a waste of time, his and mine. I mean even though his speech might have affected some students, I think he basically told us everything we have ever heard. Besides that I think that the kids that don't care about school probably didn't listen, and the kids that do well in school probably didn't need to hear it because they are already knew everything he had to say. I found one particular part of his speech humorous, he said that in order for the US to be successful in the future the kids in school now had to work hard, (this is the funny part) he then proceeded to say that to fail in school would be failing our country, while this is true I still found it to be hilarious. Personally I'm really tired of school. The whole focus is on testing and grades rather than actually learning information. The sad thing is that it isn't that the school system is broken, it's that it works. But I don't really care, I know what I want, and I'll fight to get it.

race shirts

If you have seen me on more than one ocassion then chances are that you have seen me wearing a race shirt. It's just about all I wear, to be honest. Some people don't really understand it, and others just think it's annoying. Well, I really don't care. I don't just wear the shirts because it sets me apart as a runner or because I usually paid good money for them and I want to get my moneys worth out of them. The big thing is that each of my race shirts has a story behind it. For instance, whenever I wear my Owensboro Invitational t-shirt from freshmen year I think of how it was my first 5k. I missed the first 5k of the season because I went to my grandparents 50th anniversary instead. Everyone else thinks about Owensboro High School and wonders why I'm wearing a t-shirt about them. Another instance is my Apollo Invitational t-shirt; when I wear that shirt I think about how I rolled my ankle on my warm-up and didn't think I would be able to race, but did anyway and ran a pr (personal record). My Greater Louisville Classic t-shirt has a bad story behind it. When I wear that one I'm reminded about how horrible of a race I had and that I wanted my parents to take the shirt back because I didn't want to be reminded of how bad I ran. I could go on and on about all the stories behind every race ... or I could just wear the shirts and you can ask me yourself.

I want a Strat!

My favorite guitarist is most definitely Jimi Hendrix, and his guitar of choice was the Fender Stratocaster. It is only natural, therefore, that I would want a Strat. The problem is that a true American Strat that is brand new is going to run you about $2,000. I don't have $2,000. I'm sure that at some point I will have $2,000 to spend on a guitar, but for now I don't and I really wish I did because my Gibson Maestro just doesn't do Hendrix songs any justice. Now the truth is that I don't do Hendrix any justice, so maybe it doesn't matter that I don't have a Strat. That doesn't change the fact that I really want a Strat. You just need a Strat to do a song made with a Strat justice, especially one made by such a great guitarist as Hendrix.

Desires vs. Dreams

Right now in my life, I'm fighting a battle. I'm fighting myself over what the rest of my life will be like, what I'll do and who'll I'll be. I am considering whether I should pursue my desires or my dreams.

So what is the difference between desires and dreams? I guess the only real difference is that a desire usually tends to be something you would like to happen in the short-term, while a dream is something you would like to happen in the long-term. For instance, you may desire say a candy bar, but you may dream of becoming a pilot. Basically I consider desires to be more of a sensual nature while dreams seem to be more practical. But that doesn't necessarily mean that either is likely, I mean we all have dreamed of growing up and becoming astronauts or firefighters.

But does that mean that either one would make the outcome of your life any better than the other? I guess I'm getting in a real "The Road Not Taken" mode here, but seriously, if the desires are what make you happy then shouldn't you follow them? On the other hand, you wouldn't dream about something if you didn't want that to happen as well.

The real problem is that they are both things that we want to happen, but they are rarely things that can both happen. For instance you can't be a space firefighter because there is no oxygen in space to fuel fires, therefore no need for firefighters. As far as the desires vs. dreams thing goes, eating a candy bar won't keep you from being President, but going to far with somebody or getting involved with some people potentially could ruin your dreams. Its the whole have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too scenario where you want something now, but you also want something later.

This is where I am, on so many levels. Women, for instance; men want to be with women (desire) but we also want to have meaningful relationships (dream). So my options basically are meaningless relationship with well, a whore, or meaningful relationship with a friend. The chances of a middle ground here are quite literally astronomical. Likewise, I may want to become a rockstar or a senator, but I can't expect to live the life of a rockstar and be viewed as a respectable member of society that can be trusted with the laws that govern us.

Ok, so we understand the differences and the problem. So what can be done about it? We are going to do what makes us happy just because otherwise there is no reason to live. But are we going to have our cake, or eat it? In writing this I'm reminded of the story of Icarus. He couldn't practice the moderation needed to fly a safe route, consequently he flew too high towards the sun, fell into the sea, and died. Here, in the battle, I feel that moderation is also the key. Enough desires to keep us happy now, but not enough to destroy our dreams. Hopefully I can find the balance, but for now I’m stuck at the battlelines.

On the Mac

For as long as I can remember I have always added something to my mac and cheese: ketchup. I dont know where, when, or why I started this habit but that is exactily what it has become. I will hardly ever eat it with out ketchup on top. I will also avoid home-made mac for the single reason that the cheese on it usually doesn't mix very well with the ketchup. I realise that this is rather odd, and that some people may find it even gross, but I like it that way and thats the way I eat it.

as a have-not

Being poor means that I never have had many of the luxuries others have, or just not as soon as others have had them. That I have learned to live with, but with being poor comes a paradox, I am a have-not and as such can not help but despise and envy the haves, at the same time I want to become a have. This makes it difficult because I would like the equality of communism but then I wouldn't have the chance to succeed as I do in capitalism. Ultimately I believe that as long as everyone has an equal chance then capitalism is the best option. I just really can't see communism working. So this is the oxymoron that I am, I'm a have-not but I'm a capitalist.

Something's in the air.

There is something in the air. I'm not sure what it is or how it got there, but it certainly is there, and it is having an effect. You see at the beginning of this year's cross country season I had doubts about our team. Nobody seemed to be working toward a common goal, everybody seemed more occupied with getting out of doing hard work, but something has changed. I'm not sure how or why this change has occured but I have never seen the team this close or in this great of physical condition. I'm so very excited because of this and can't wait for the season to start. We will be doing great things this season and even if we don't accomplish as much as we hope, we will have the time of our lives doing them. I don't know what this invisible agent in our air supply is, but I hope that it sticks around til November.

related relatives

The relatives I am probably closest to are my sister, my oldest brother, and my grandfather. My sister and I are quite alike in the way we approach school. We take/took (seeing as she is graduated from college) very seriously. We push to get the best grades we can and are very goal oriented. My brother and I are very alike in temperment. We don't really like being told what to do. My brother is very open minded and doesn't just take things for face-value. My sister doesn't either but she still isn't as open as my brother. I would say I'm more like my brother in this. My mom tells me that I'm alot like her dad. She says that we are both very philosophical thinkers and that we both are/were frugal.

There are really many ways that I'm like some people in my family, and also many ways that I'm very different from my family. But the ones I am most like would be my sister, my oldest brother, and my grandfather.